How seeing enemies on the outside points to the enemy on the inside

As I watch the news, I can’t help but notice how the opposite political party is always the enemy. 

Isn’t it similar in our relationships? When something doesn’t go our way, don’t we tend to point the finger at another person?

Why is that? 

Finger-pointing shifts responsibility. When we pass the blame, we get off the hook, temporarily feel better, but nothing changes. What’s worse, the more we do it, the harder it is to break this unproductive habit. 

There are, situations where it IS the other person, but those are far fewer than our sense of comfort would like to admit. Most of the time, we can always do something that will change us, which in turn might inspire other people to change. 

For example, I used to be angry at my stepdad for some pretty decent reasons. As such, we didn’t talk for years. In that time I changed a lot. I realized how my insecurities made me cut people out of my life prematurely because I labeled them as an enemy. 

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when I saw my stepdad on my phone’s caller id. As a significantly more secure person, I fought off the temptation to ignore, and I picked up the phone. 

Is everything perfect now? No, but we’re talking, and our relationship is getting better. Far better than I would expect years ago. The more we talk, the better I am getting at healing the part of my heart that tempts me to dismiss people as outsiders. 

As I forgive, both myself and others, I’m finding out that the biggest enemy is on the inside. As the enemy shrinks from within, the fewer enemies I see without. 

Which parts of you tend to label others prematurely as an enemy? How can you heal it? 


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