It’s not the big events, it’s showing that you care

This Saturday I went to Suit Up Ministries’ Dad U. Great speakers, great people. I got plenty of ideas to add to my thought library. The most relevant one to where I am in life right now being: it’s not the big events, it’s showing that you care. 

Simplest example comes from Stephen Covey who planned a fishing trip with his son. They didn’t catch anything so he thought it was a failure. In his diary he wrote. “We fished all day, we haven’t caught anything, wasted day.” Before going to bed he stopped by his son’s room and on his desk he saw an open diary with the following words “Went fishing all day, didn’t catch anything, best day ever!” 

Our minds crave proof. Since we can’t immediately see what’s in another person’s heart, it’s very tempting to default to the tangible, but irrelevant. Number of fish caught, people showed up or view count. 

Why do I say irrelevant? I say irrelevant, because our first reaction is typically a stress reaction. We’ll do what will keep us safe. What’s been pre-approved by others. In other words, not something necessairly true, because what is true is typically too ambitious for a stress reaction to process.

What’s relevant? I say what is relevant is the intention. Is the action coming from the place of love? As in the example above, the fishing trip came from the place of love and the son responded. The number of fish caught were an icing on the cake, not a definition of victory.

What does it mean for me? It means to focus on the relationships, not because what I can get in return, but because I care. It’s not easy for a brand new entrepreneur. I am very much tempted to seek “the one” connection, “the one” conversation, or “the one” post that will make me an instant star. But yet I know, that if that’s what happens, then I will lose the fulfillment, It will be about me and not others. And if that happens I might as well have not taken this step of faith to begin with.

What is your relationship success criteria? How can you shift from the numbers in your mind to the intention in you heart?


Don’t know how to get started? As a man, you are very good at solving problems with your mind. However, when your romantic relationships suffer or you don’t feel fulfilled at work … you can’t solve these types of problems by logic alone. That’s because your locked up heart is sabotaging you!

Please visit for a complementary 30 minute “break the cycle” consultation.

After our talk, you will understand how leveraging love as a skill will get you the breakthrough results you’re looking for.

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