Learning how to do things with love

I recently heard a definition of a Saint as doing ordinary things with extraordinary love. Not that I am comparing myself to being a saint, but I think the reason this definition resonated with me is that it points to the root cause behind the seemingly impossible: love.

Maybe because I’m a guy or because I didn’t grow up with great role models, the word love still sometimes feels a bit too private and only allowed to be out on special occasions such as Valentine’s days, weddings or birthdays.

So why do I insists on using the word love instead of more modern words such as energy? I’ll start with just a couple of quotes from the bible: 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” and my personal favorite John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love”

Let’s make it more tangible though. Think of times when you feel most alive … what is the feeling that best describes it? For me that feeling is love and if you get something else … please be sure to let me know.

So if I believe the highest feeling one can have on earth is love, wouldn’t it make sense to build your life as such, so more love is brought into your life? What would that look like? Most importantly, How would you know if it’s true love or a way to manipulate others (i.e. pretending to be the “nice” person to manipulate others into satisfying own needs)?

For me, it’s asking the following question when making any type of decision: what would bring more love into my life? Just like a baby crawls, walks, then runs and so it was with me when I started applying this question to the most ordinary of tasks. For example, one time I found myself upset for being stuck in traffic: I asked myself the question of what can bring more to my life? Next thing I noticed, I was admiring the beautiful clouds I would have missed had I been focused on being an angry traffic victim.

This type of warm-up with simpler tasks allowed me to make bigger decisions with ease. Most recently I asked myself this very question before proposing to my fiancé. See, I’ve been divorced, we only knew each other for about 5 months, and I am about to quit my job soon. The logical advice would be to wait some more to make sure I’m not making yet another mistake. However, when I asked myself what would bring more love into my life … the answer was extremely obvious. Further, had I asked myself this very question prior to my first marriage, I would have quickly found out there was no love, but a slowly fading infatuation … It wasn’t about how our love wills the good of the other, but about how I am doing what I feel like I am supposed to be doing because I don’t know what I want to do.

How about you? What is the name for the highest feeling you have ever felt? How can you bring more of it into your life?


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